10 weeks pregnant, but i don't think i am...?

I am 9 weeks pregnant and I have had my first ultrasound sound and heard my baby's heartbeat and I'm still I. Denial Idk why I feel like I'm rejecting my own child but I want a baby. And I just can't beloved me and when ever I tell m husband this he gets mad. I know wha yur feeling I jus wanna feel my baby kick I wanna know that its really there yu know??